Post by naomi on Sept 17, 2005 21:56:15 GMT -5
This is my little one-shot (maybe a more in the future 
don't hold your breath though). This has nothing to do with Teen titans but I really like you guys to read it. Also warning its about death. What I need help with is edting. If you see something wrong, PLEASE TELL ME. Even if its a comma or miss spelled word. Here we go:
She was shaking as she dropped the gun. Unconsciously she backed into the wall out of shear shock at what she just did. As if the life was sucked out of her body, her knees buckled and she fell to the floor. The adenine that was pumping though her was gone. The life she had known...gone. In mere seconds and one pull of the trigger. Did it and she knew it. Her breaths were uneven and her eyes wide. She stared at the body of the boy that made her miserable. That had made her life a living heck. The one that called her worthless and stupid. Because of him, she would cry every night before she went to sleep. Every time she would even look at a mirror, his horrible words would ring though her mind. She didn't have a a bathroom mirror any more. Her arms that were limp at her sides had cuts and bruises. Looking at mirror made it as if what he said was true.
She couldn't take it anymore. She had decided to show who was weak. The night before she found her fathers gun. Which wasn't hard. That day she connerd him in a empty class room. She pulled out the gun and pointed at him. Never in his life he would have thought he would be at the end of a gun. It seemed that the first time in her life, she felt like she was in power. The terrified boy tried to talk her out of it but it was no use. The girl who he teased and hurt was last thing he saw and heard before he was killed.
The girl diverted her eyes from the boy to the gun she dropped. Crawling on the floor she, grabbed the gun and placed it to her head. Hours later a teacher found the two students.~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~`
Hope you thought it was good. PLEASE TELL ME WHAT YOU THINK!
don't hold your breath though). This has nothing to do with Teen titans but I really like you guys to read it. Also warning its about death. What I need help with is edting. If you see something wrong, PLEASE TELL ME. Even if its a comma or miss spelled word. Here we go: She was shaking as she dropped the gun. Unconsciously she backed into the wall out of shear shock at what she just did. As if the life was sucked out of her body, her knees buckled and she fell to the floor. The adenine that was pumping though her was gone. The life she had known...gone. In mere seconds and one pull of the trigger. Did it and she knew it. Her breaths were uneven and her eyes wide. She stared at the body of the boy that made her miserable. That had made her life a living heck. The one that called her worthless and stupid. Because of him, she would cry every night before she went to sleep. Every time she would even look at a mirror, his horrible words would ring though her mind. She didn't have a a bathroom mirror any more. Her arms that were limp at her sides had cuts and bruises. Looking at mirror made it as if what he said was true.
She couldn't take it anymore. She had decided to show who was weak. The night before she found her fathers gun. Which wasn't hard. That day she connerd him in a empty class room. She pulled out the gun and pointed at him. Never in his life he would have thought he would be at the end of a gun. It seemed that the first time in her life, she felt like she was in power. The terrified boy tried to talk her out of it but it was no use. The girl who he teased and hurt was last thing he saw and heard before he was killed.
The girl diverted her eyes from the boy to the gun she dropped. Crawling on the floor she, grabbed the gun and placed it to her head. Hours later a teacher found the two students.~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~`
Hope you thought it was good. PLEASE TELL ME WHAT YOU THINK!